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Post by loststar on Jun 21, 2009 19:15:54 GMT -5
~A thread for Loststar, Morninglight, Tallstone, and Goldenwing~Walking like a one-man army Fighting with the shadows in your head Living out the same old moment Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only Say what you need to sayIt was a force greater than Loststar could comprehend that summoned him from his den at the break of dawn. The sun, still slightly chilled from its nightly slumber, caressed the land with rose-colored hues, and frigid rays of golden light. He slipped out of his den unnoticed, his clan still walking with StarClan in dreams. He wasn’t worried, he knew that when Crowflight woke with the morning light, he would observe his leader’s absence as nothing out of the ordinary and begin to plan the morning patrol. A good cat, that Crowflight. How well he had taken to the duties of deputy and how easily his charisma had won over the clan. Loststar was a diligent cat, a responsible leader, honest and capable, but it couldn’t compare to how Crowflight had won over the clan. They were Loststar’s clan, and if StarClan decreed it, he would die for them, but it couldn’t fill the gaping hole in his heart.
Loststar hadn’t’ slept last night. His mis-matched eyes were tired and haunted with doubts and insecurities about what he was to do next. His luster-less black coat was in need of a grooming after hours of tossing and turning in his nest. He slipped through the boulder, past the bramble covering without a scratch and made his way to the RavineClan borders. The large cat would not be missed for at least a few hours.
He had to find Beestripe, for fear that if he even took a moment’s hesitation to stop and think this through, to plan a time suitable, a gathering perhaps, that he would come to his senses and turn straight back to his clan, the pieces falling back in order. This spontaneous action scared Loststar but losing this sudden spark of courage scared him even more. He quickened his speed, every minute the sun rose higher was a wasted moment that he might catch Beestripe alone. The truth was that Loststar could not bear to be so selfless anymore.
He needed Beestripe. While the rest of the clan was bound by blood, he was the outcast, the loner who ruled the clan of love and family while he himself suffered alone. He had promised Morninglight that he would leave her alone after he had repaid his debt, by handing over his brother so that she might once again have a family. Loststar condemned himself to a lifetime of hardship, watching his brother grow in another clan, watching his clan grow without him. Truth be told, being this selfless was slowly killing him.
He paused for a moment at the edge of his territory, finally summoning the strength to put one huge black paw over the line and then another, until his whole body was over and he picked up speed once more. In his harried and trance-like state, discretion flew out the window, his nose fixed on Beestripe’s scent and didn’t notice a golden form moving straight towards him… to be continued in the next post
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Post by morninglight on Jun 21, 2009 23:50:28 GMT -5
Loststar was not the only one awoken by the disappearance of darkness, scared away by the sudden appearance of morning light in all its glory. She breathed in the juxtaposition of tranquil silence and noise of light and color that banished away the night. That is, until the blundering sound of a large animal barreled through her midst. Vivid green eyes pierced through the undergrowth and her eyes widened as the sight and the scent washed over her with unforgiving rememberance.
Morninglight bolted through the bushes, crashing straight into the leader himself. He, hardly away of his surroundings let out a yowl of surprise and collided into the golden warrioress. He leapt back spitting, his eyes alive and frightening to behold. She straightened up from the dust, pine needles and dirt clinging to her coat. He stared at her dumbfounded for a moment, his thoughts on Beestripe and Beestripe alone, that she wasn’t sure if he recognized her. For a moment, she was petrified.
The realization hit him with a sudden blow and he stepped back, his eyes losing their dangerous and wild glint. The fur settled down on Morninglight’s back, but she still kept her distance and asked in perfect warrior fashion, “This is RavineClan territory, what business do you have here, Loststar?” Her voice was respectful, cool, while emerald eyes traced his every move. They had bonded over raising Beestripe, surviving together, but that was moons ago. She was a warrior and he was a leader of opposing tribes. And it had to stay that way.
He paused, the air falling into silence, and he finally managed to say, “I…I need to talk to Beestripe.” Morninglight had never seen Loststar look so uncomfortable and unless her instincts were incorrect, guilty. “What for?” she responded sharply, her ears flattening against her head and her fur beginning to rise again.
He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it, guilt seizing hold of him once more , threatening to once again condemn him back to his miserable existence. As Morninglight stood there, the multitude of reasons that he should forever keep his silence cascading, drowning him as he gasped for air. Bathed in sunlight, her multi-hued pelt of ambers and golds shone with unwelcomed beauty. The compassion she showed Beestripe, the forgiveness she bestowed, the grace that saved Loststar from a life of guilt and shame, the love he once had for her hit him like a tidal wave and he ached with invisible pain. As she stood there, her eyes burning with love and life, life that he was about to snatch away greedily, remorse and despair collapsed upon him. With tears in his silver and brown eyes, he pressed on.
“I need to tell Beestripe…everything,” he finished, his voice cracking, not daring to look her in the eyes, not brave enough to endure his pain and hers. “His past, his connection to me, everything…” he added, trailing off. This was not the impassive leader of TealClan, strong, emotionless, honorable. As Morninglight looked at this huge ebony cat, once upon a time, her friend, she could hardly recognize him.
She was startled. For a moment, too surprised to say something as she gaped at Loststar like a fish out of water, her mouth opening and shutting as words dancing tantalizingly out of reach. Her surprise gave way to shock which boiled over to angry. Her eyes were green chips of ice as her neutral warrior persona slipped away and she stared at him, unflinchingly and furious. “You think that you can walk over here and tell him everything?!” she spat, digging her claws in the ground. He flinched and took a step back, suddenly reminded of the desparate and hopeless warrior he had encountered moons ago…
“Morninglight…” Her eyes blinked open, a startlingly beautiful emerald, and she slowly sat up, turning to face me. I almost gasped at her appearance, soot covering her lovely features, claw marks covering her matted coat, and her beaten expression. She studied me for a moment, and when it dawned on her my identity, her eyes turned to bitter green ice as she hissed, “Filth! Take one more step and I’ll kill you where you stand”.
She faced him, unblinkingly. She would never back down, never. Beestripe was the only family she had after Loststar’s clan had destroyed hers and she would die before she would let his alligiences be torn between clans. “How dare you?!”she ended, taking a step towards him. Gone was the passive she-cat, soft-spoken and complaisant. A warrior stood in her place and she wouldn’t back down without a fight.
“Please Morninglight,” Loststar said, no begged, the black leader practically at a lost for words against this onslaught of bitterness and anger. “I need this, and I know, I know he is your family now, and I know it isn’t my place anymore, but you must understand that I would never ever do this, if I didn't feel it was absolutely necessary, if I felt even for a second that I could continue living like this. If I thought for one moment I could spare you and Beestripe the pain, you know that I would not have come," he pleaded, his eyes shadowed with sorrow and hope.
His words fell upon deaf ears. "I don't know you anymore," she shot back. "The Loststar I knew wouldn't inflict his brother with such pain, just as he was calling his clan his own, wouldn't allow his loyalties to be divided for such selfish reasons," she hissed.
Her words were bitter and they fall upon Loststar's shoulders like fire. He cast his eyes downward, and her words died upon the wind. He felt grief yes, and an almost overwhelming amount of guilt. But a new emotion sparked, igniting, and caught flame. He raised his face to her, their eyes locking tightly, and for the first time, he felt anger towards Morninglight. Why shouldn't he have a right to happiness, after moons of suffering alone? Loststar was all for redemption and wallowing in guilt, but enough was enough. He wasn't going to strive for an unattainable forgiveness anymore.
"I'm sorry about your family Morninglight, truely I am," he retorted back. "There is not a day that goes by where I do not think of how I could have prevented it. But I have as much of a right to happiness as you, or any other cat, and I mean to have it!" he yowled, his body tense and his claws scraping the ground. "And I can't see you deny Beestripe a piece of his past that I know he longs for, and if I need to, I'll fight for what I think is right."
Morninglight stood there, dumbfounded in his sudden change. A fight was not what she wanted it to come to, but she had come to see that they were beyond words, neither budging in this unspoken game of will. Her emerald eyes narrowed and she crouched, looking pitifully small next to the black leader of TealClan. "So be it," she replied quietly.
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Post by tallstone on Jun 21, 2009 23:51:59 GMT -5
it had been a long time since it was like this -- with one of them running around, hiding, and keeping secrets from the other. the first time it had been him keeping the secrets - that he loved her, that he didn't want to tell her he loved her for fear that she'd run away from him and his past - and then it had been her turn, with Castro and everything else. Now, though, it was him again -- hiding everything from his most important person.
Aside from the fact that Northwind knew very little about her mate in matters that counted - she was only aware of the fact that he was head over heels for her, meaning he would sacrifice and do anything for his beloved, and she took advantage of that (as well as took it for granted. About Tallstone's past, she was unaware of - of the pain he goes through everyday thinking about his twisted family lies and his dead brother which all seemed to be repeating itself again - and even so, it was not as if she cared to learn of these things either.
tallstone sighed as he listened to the wind brush past and whistle through the trees, his silver-tipped ears twitching at the familiar sound. he closed his eyes, breathing in deeply, as he thought over their entire situation again. could he and northwind ever work it out with all these secrets?
honestly, the tall tabby wanted to tell his mate all of the troubles that burdened his mind, the things that pressed down on his shoulders like a million weights, but he didn't think she would like that very much -- she didn't like it when he talked at all in fact. she would rather him always be tallpaw -- quiet, shy, vulnerable and always listening to her no matter what.
the thing was, tallstone didn't think he could do that anymore. he was grown up and so was his pride.
now, the warrior was not exactly conceited or arrogant in nature, but there were just some things a tom could not take -- even from a cat that he had loved since his childhood. northwind constantly mistreated him and although it was not physical - nor would it ever be a physical pain for them - it was certainly mental, as it had taken a huge blow to his heart. his heart was shattered into a million pieces, as if made of glass, and sometimes, tallstone wondered if he still loved her like used to; if he could love her like that anymore.
suddenly, the tall tom flinched -- though from what, he - nor anybody else in the vicinity who could have been watching him - couldn't be sure. perhaps it was the thought of him breaking away from his comfort zone - where he loved the same cat, followed the same routine and did nothing different from his carefully formed patterns - or maybe it was the thought of northwind alone that made him act that way; flinching.
shaking his head, tallstone looked up and blinked in surprise at the sunlight hit his face. it felt warm and inviting, but not blindingly so and the tom felt something inside him tingle pleasantly -- it was warm and soft, but something that you always wanted with you. it was almost the same as how he used to feel when he was with northwind, but as for now, this special feeling, what could he compare it to? northwind only brought him pain and regret...
out of nowhere, the image of a pretty golden-colored she-cat flashed into his mind and he stumbled back in surprise. morninglight, his mind whispered and although his mouth moved, no words came out -- his vocal cords were numb with shock and his throat too dry to form coherent words. morninglight was his friend, not anything more, but also certainly not anything less.
-- .... then.. why..? he stood there, dumbfounded, as he shook his head slowly, trying to get the image out of his mind. however, the green eyes that were hers seemed forever ingrained in his memory, burning brightly, instead of the soft, brilliant blue-green hue of his mate's.
he did not have time to think any longer because his ears suddenly pricked up at the sound of familiar voices and he raised his eyes - blue pools glinting in confusion and surprise - as he pushed himself to his paws to search through the foliage. his paws moved cautiously and carefully, too light to make much of a noise, as he spotted - but more like spied - on two sets of cats.
morninglight... he breathed, recognizing her in an instant and then his eyebrow rose at the sight of another familiar face that seemed to be burning in frustration and indignation. loststar..?, tallstone's mind was in a whirl of confusion but he couldn't contemplate much on the matter as his heart was burning and his insides were flaring as a sudden feeling - something that was mixed with aggression and surprise, a something that was familiar to both defense and protection - burst inside him.
without a second thought, he rushed forward to morninglight's side and flanked her protectively, lips curled back dangerously. he wasn't exactly snarling, but then again the silver-blue gaze that burned into the black cat before was not exactly friendly either. he covered her and glared into the eyes of Loststar; the idea of being intimidated by the leader of TealClan completely escaped him. the only thing that was important was his sun washed friend beside him, her green eyes glinting dangerously under the light.
"I don't know what you want, but..." he meowed carefully, his voice hard. The RavineClan warrior had been awkwardly preportioned as both a kit and an apprentice, but now - his shoulders straight and his jaw fine - he measured up well to Loststar. He was, perhaps, even bigger than the TealClan leader as he stepped forward and unsheathed his claws, covering her defensively.. However, true to nature, Tallstone bit his lip, contradictory to his stone-like stance, and straightened his shoulders, eyes burning into that of the TealClan leader. "you better not hurt her."
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Post by tallstone on Jun 24, 2009 20:13:39 GMT -5
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Post by morninglight on Jun 25, 2009 0:09:11 GMT -5
It all happened so fast. At one moment, she was alone, claws unshealthed, staring down her former friend and prepared to do the unthinkable. The cat before her was foreign and strange, ebony hair bristling on his back, towering over the golden warrioress, his mis-matched eyes cold and calculating. And if she had been in her right mind, she would have been scared. He had every advantage, size, strength, experience. Most cats would have backed down a long time ago from the massive warrior, being such an even-tempered and rational cat, this wild anger would be truly frightening to most. But it was Morninglight’s brazen acceptance of his challenge that made Loststar hesitate. But where he had every fighting advantage, she was fighting for her family, for Beestripe. She had let them down once, but she meant to correct it, regardless of the consequences. Her claws scraped the ground, racking up the dirt, and she crouched back, muscles tense, and prepared to leap-
And then he was there beside her. The flash of silver brown startled her, broke her concentration, the flicker of fire in her emerald eyes gone as she turned her head sharply towards and looked up and up. Tallstone’s stiff form, silver-blue eyes staring down Loststar in her defense…she blinked in surprise. Her mouth gaped open, full of questions, but shut it abruptly at the sound of his voice, “you better not hurt her”. Yet what surprised her most was her reaction, at the sound of his voice, she positively glowed and flushed at the same time. Rose colored hues crept up and colored her face but her vivid green eyes shone, illuminating her face and setting off her delicate features.
He was here for her. For her. That thought kept repeating in her head like a cursed blessing and even in the midst of this delicate situation and her much more rational mind attempting to squash these persistent thoughts, her lips flickered with a shadow of a brilliant smile. Suddenly, even with Tallstone and Loststar staring each other down and she in the middle, she had never felt so at ease, so safe than she felt right now in Tallstone’s presence…
Her emerald eyes flashed quickly downwards, away from Tallstone’s form as the implications of her thoughts struck her like a thunderbolt. No, she thought quickly, there wasn’t anything wrong with her feelings because she had simply mislabeled the source. Of course, she was relieved to see him there, happy even, especially as she was about to engage in a fight with the formidable TealClan leader. And of course he would defend her, they were fellow clanmates and Tallstone was an avid supporter of the warrior code, as was she. They were friends too and she admired him and respecting him for the compassion he had and was at this moment, showing her. That was all. That had to be all.
She focused her gaze back on Loststar's face, more confident than ever, although less implusive and ready to fight. She sheathed her claws and her breathing slowed to a steady rate, as she softly meowed, "You don't want to do this Loststar. Think of your clan, think of the consquences. We don't have to fight," she said simply, the anger from her voice gone, even though the determination wasn't. "I don't want to see you wreck your life over this, but you know from experience that I won't budge," she added, as her lips twitched, smiling slightly at this humorless situation. "You promised me..." she reminded him gently, slowly falling back out of the fearsome warrior persona she had adopted just moments ago. It was like they were almost friends again.
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Post by loststar on Jun 25, 2009 2:10:58 GMT -5
Loststar was as startled as Morninglight to see Tallstone and silently chided himself for not being more attentive of his surroundings. As the sun soared higher into the sky and bathed the land with light, staying here became more and more dangerous. Every minute made it more likely that other RavineClanners would be awake, maybe even sent on a patrol. And if a patrol found Loststar on their territory, that would spell trouble for his whole clan.
But this didn't seem like enough to douse Loststar's anger and he hissed at Tallstone, surprised by his presence but unfazed by his threat. "Stay out of this warrior!" he spat, his silver and brown eyes once again focusing on Morninglight, while not really seeing her. She was his obstacle, the cat in the way of him having the family that he had missed for moons. "This is not your fight," he added harshly. He should be rational, diplomatic, compassionate, but right now his anger was hot and the cool collected leader he had become faded back to the hot-headed apprentice he used to be, rash, implusive, and full of fire. He snarled, shoulders low, tail swishing dangerously, about to throw himself at Tallstone, regardless of the consequences, when even in the heat of the moment, he noticed something seemingly insignificant.
Tallstone’s position. He was hovering over Morninglight, flanking her in a…protective way that struck Loststar as very bizarre. Every warrior is trained to be an experienced fighter and other warriors rarely shield each other unless it’s their kit or apprentice or-he almost gasped outloud- and for a moment he forgot all about why he was here, his dissonant gaze shifting from Tallstone to Morninglight, back and forth, struggling to make sense of their silent interactions and he took a step back. The look in her eyes, the color in her cheeks, she used to look at him that way…he never realized he missed it until now and he flinched at the thought.
His eyes flashed back at Tallstone, brimming with a newfound resentment. While his anger at Morninglight about Beestripe was more reasonable, he had suffered because of their desicion, his anger towards the tom was irrational and unmerited. That was such a long time ago, nothing even happened between them, just impossible fleeting wishes of a young tom that Loststar thought he had buried for good. Until now.
That should have been his place. Protecting Morninglight. Raising Beestripe. Everything that he gave up, hoping he could shield Beestripe from pain, hoping he could Morninglight a sliver of the life back he had helped take away, he almost staggered back from these multiple blows. Now, he had nothing. No family, no mate, and he only had himself to blame.
His eyes were shadowed with anguish as he dwelled on what he was just about to do. If Tallstone hadn't been there...the possiblities were horrifying and guilt danced openly on his naked features, uncovered, exposed to the cats before him. Her gentle tone shamed him even more and he knew that after their encounter, she would not be open to more discussion or anything else for that matter.
"Beestripe is my brother!" Loststar blurted out desparately, and out of the corner of his eye, he watched Morninglight stiffen and her green gaze burned, but he couldn't look at her, didn't deserve to look at the she-cat he once loved. "I would like him to know that," he added, looking down at his huge black paws, forcing himself to breath, to collect himself, to call it quits.
With one last breath, he heaved himself to his paws, shoulders pulled back, and he looked once again, every inch of the leader that most cats saw him as. He nodded curtly at Tallstone and said, "I won't hurt her, you have my word. You were right to step in...I...I acted foolishly, "he acknowledged. Loststar compelled himself to look once more at Morninglight, and there was no mistaking the pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry Morninglight," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, begging her to understand, and knowing that she never would. "It was wrong of me to come here and wrong of me to ask this to you. I will leave peacefully. I...I..." he started, stammering, what? I miss you? I wish I could change things?, but his words died at the tip of his tongue. "Take care," he said simply, the emotionless mask once again placed firmly upon his features, before turning around and slipping back into the thick folige, back to his clan, back home.
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Post by goldenwing on Jun 25, 2009 15:17:58 GMT -5
The golden-and-tabby-furred warrior stalked through the forest, the lines of sunshine striping her pelt alongside her tabby markings. Her small body was stretched to make the most minimal amount of noise possible, paws placing themselves perfectly beside sticks that would snap easily and leaves that would crunch ever-so audibly. The golden eyes stayed trained to the front, with the exception of a flicker to the left or right every now and then.
Goldenwing had woken only a bit too late and had missed the patrol that had gone out earlier. She felt like a fool; this was her chance to get out of the camp for a good while. She had leaped to her paws when she awakened and padded straight out of the camp. Her nose forced her paws to follow a scent that was left behind by RavineClanners earlier that morning. There was...something odd about this trip. As she neared where she thought the scent and voices met, Goldenwing realized that she was right beside the RavineClan and TealClan border. Something was definitely not right.
Goldenwing moved forward as slowly as possible and hid herself in a bramble bush, hoping that her scent wouldn't waft over to the warriors she was watching. There were three, two RavineClanners and one TealClanner: Morninglight, Tallstone, and Loststar. Goldenwing's fur bristled. If there's a problem, I'm not hiding in here like a little kittypet! she thought angrily, eying Loststar carefully.
But her ears had only caught the last bit of the conversation, the most important bit of the hostile conversation.
"Beestripe is my brother!" Loststar blurted out desperately.
Goldenwing's ears rang with the last word. Brother? What? Beestripe?
She staggered backwards, almost losing her footing on a stick. The rest of Loststar's words were lost on her ears as she turned and began her mad dash back to the RavineClan camp. This couldn't be true. The large leader and Beestripe...they had nothing in common! And besides...why would Loststar want for Beestripe to meet him? Goldenwing's hackles rose. To steal him away from his Clan, perhaps? This was just wrong of the tom. Beestripe shouldn't know about this long-lost broth--
Suddenly, a realization hit the she-cat like a mighty blow. She hadn't known of her family until her mother's death. When Tawnystone died right in front of her, Goldenwing had wanted the comfort of a family so badly. She was able to see now why Loststar would want for his brother to know of his existence. It made sense. And she knew that, regardless of whether or not Beestripe knew of his kin, he wouldn't leave RavineClan. Goldenwing reasoned that she never would have if she had known about Tawnystone. RavineClan was the place that they called home...the Clan that they called family. Together.
The she-cat's tabby paws carried her directly into the RavineClan camp. She stalked straight past the fresh-kill pile, a sinking feeling entering her stomach for not catching anything while she was out. She figured she would skip out on eating until she did, as well. Right past it she walked until she reached a shaded area, one where she could lie down and consider the dilemma of this situation at least until Beestripe woke up. Surely she would tell him... This just wasn't fair to him!
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Post by tallstone on Jun 26, 2009 21:08:04 GMT -5
three can keep a secret... if two are dead.
[/color] to say that tallstone, at this very moment and time, was not terrified would be an outright lie. however, to say that he was terrified would not be telling the complete truth either; depending on how you thought about it, tallstone was the very opposite of afraid. if you were to look at the tom from a physical standpoint, it was clear that he was not frightened, but instead, courageous by looking at the bright, almost brazen, expression on his face and the stiffness of his shoulders.
if you looked from a slightly different standpoint, however, the idea of such a strong cat, muscular and protective like the perfect knight, would vanish right before your eyes if you were to compare that same armored man to the tabby tom standing over morninglight this very second. tallstone's mind was muddled, filled with all sorts of thoughts and fears that burned into his very brain, as if they would not vanish any time soon -- or ever, for that matter. looking into his soul, it was easy to say that he was weak, terrified out of his mind, and you would wonder, quickly, what was it that let him stand right there, giving the impression that he was anything but what he actually was.
to be frank, tallstone himself was not even sure what kept him there -- what made his eyes locked on a cat that he had previously thought to be so intimidating, a low growl rise from deep within his throat, and his lips pull back into a threatening snarl that was nothing like the tallstone everyone knew.
dark blue optics flickered down to the sunsplashed feline below him and his gaze suddenly softened, renewed energy surging into his bones. maybe..., something in his mind whispered - from where it came from, he couldn't be sure, but something told him it came from deep within the chambers of his heart ... - but his thought could not be finished. it was cut off as he noticed the look in her eyes -- wide, hopeful, safe...
in love, that devilish part of his mind whispered again and Tallstone nearly jumped back in shock, if not for the presence - that was her - that made him nailed to that very spot. suddenly grateful for his dark fur, as his face suddenly flushed a deep ruby red at the sinful thought that entered his mind, tallstone looked away awkwardly (coincidentally at the same time she did) and pressed his lips together, a tight expression crossing his face.
his attention was diverted once more as the TealClan leader leapt forward and hissed at him. hackles raised, tallstone said nothing (whether it was from shock or something else entirely) and simply glared at the younger tom. his mouth felt dry as he spoke and the voice that rang in his ears didn't feel like it was coming from him. "of course this is my fight! any fight of hers is a fight of mine," he retorted, neck prickling. realizing his words and how they could be taken the wrong way, the tom coughed lightly and amended himself. "I-I mean, she is my clan mate. And my friend." He paused for a minute. "My best friend." Tallstone wasn't sure if it was going too far to say this, but it was already said and done.
There was a deafening silence between the three of them that made the warrior fidget uneasily and his muscles loosen as he stepped, carefully, off of Morninglight. He still flanked her protectively, yes, but now their pelts weren't touching as much. She quickly broke the silence, earning a surprised look from Tallstone as his head whipped around to burn into her pelt (as if asking her if she really wanted to do this, if she really meant the words she was going to say), and then he looked away again, wondering if he should really be here at all. He reminded himself that he was her friend and this is what friends do, be there when no one else is.
Whether or not he understood anything they were talking about, he knew that he would always be a shoulder for her to lean on. That's just who he was.
Tallstone murmured something comfortingly to her, immediately noticing how tense she was and how much she didn't really want to be her, having this conversation with the TealClan leader who seemed so adamant at wrecking both of their lives. "Them" being Morninglight and Loststar, of course. His ears perked up at the word "promise" and he gazed curiously at her, wondering what she meant. Something inside him twisted at the thought of their promise, but a more powerful emotion knocked it over - something mixed between curiosity, bewilderment and concern - as he looked at her.
He looked slowly over at Loststar, his face passive. Apprension flickered in his eyes, as well as shock, as he took in Loststar's expression. His gaze immediatley softened, noticing the desperation in the younger tom's face. A part of Tallstone wanted to lunge at Loststar for the insane words that leaped from his throat, as if he were an insane cat. The other half wished to believe the black tom, in the same way that Tallstone wanted to believe that Northwind loved him -- had ever loved him.
His ears perked at the other words that stumbled out of the tom's throat, awkwardly and stuttering, unlike the leader that Tallstone had always perceived him to be. A disapproving look entered his features, though he sheathed his claws, and the tom stared deeply at the cat before him, trying to decipher his intentions. He waited another moment before opening his mouth - he had yet to decipher all of this, really digest it for the shock still ran rampant through his emotions - but in that same second, Loststar had fled.
Not even noticing another figure intruding upon the scene, Tallstone looked at Morninglight. He pinned his smoldering blue gaze with her softer green ones, eyes glinting with confusion.What was that all about? it seemed to say.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/font][/color]
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Post by morninglight on Jun 27, 2009 4:55:20 GMT -5
Morninglight Love makes us act like we're fools Throw it all away, for one happy day From the moment Loststar finally confessed to the moment his huge ebony form slipped through the foliage and out of side, Morninglight’s eyes blazed with a torrent of emotions, some unidentifiable and some trapped within the deepest corners of her heart that she didn’t dare explore on her own. She sat silent through Loststar’s declaration and silent through his last apology, his goodbye. And she still didn’t know what to think. In her cascading thoughts, she forgave him one moment and cursed him the next. She wanted to reminisce and never speak to him again, share a heartfelt embrace and dig her claws into his flank, tell him everything and leave him with nothing. But she had neither time to reach out to him or fight back before he became the Loststar that she had once known again just as easily as he had left that familiar shell. And then he was gone, leaving her mystified, furious, helpless, overjoyed, and other emotions she didn’t even bother to try to name.
She returned her gaze back to Tallstone, overwhelmed, only to be floored once more by his smoldering blue-hued eyes. She almost gasped, her mind whirling with the sensations she had just experienced, his pelt brushing against hers, his eyes upon her face, his voice, best friends he said. She flushed again, mentally cursing StarClan with this particular tendency, fairly certain that it would one day be the death of her. Her emerald eyes flashed quickly down to her golden paws, stammering for words, all the while berating herself for this foolish behavior. He was just a clanmate like the rest of them, same as Brownspot, Silverhawk, even Beestripe for StarClan’s sake! She was acting like a dopey kit, when, and she reminded herself, there was no reason to be so shy and self-conscious. Yet under his gaze, she felt every flaw of hers magnified a thousand times, especially in comparison to the glorious and breath-taking beauty of Northwind, even as she tried to fight the alluring emotions of happiness, optimism, hope…
She quickly snapped out of it, realizing that she was leaving his unspoken questions completely unanswered. She glanced down at her golden paws, summoning up her courage and began. “I apologize that you had to witness that, it was completely unexpected, and I’m about as shocked as you are. At the very least, for stepping in to help me…” she trailed off, blushing again. “I owe you an explaination. Loststar…he was telling the truth,” she admitted. “I’m not Beestripe’s sister, but StarClan knows, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him,” she said passionately, her eyes coming alive once more at the thought of her adopted brother. With the time it took to raise him, she hadn’t thought about her old family in quite some time. Had nothing had happen, she would have had parents, her sister, possibly a mate and kits without having to worry about keeping her guilt and bitterness on a tight leash, least it destroy her in its hunger. Now she had Beestripe and he made her life worth living.
“As you know, I am not clan-born. I was born and raised in another clan. Loststar was born in our rival clan. They went from bad to worse as the warrior code was slowly thrown out. One night, they decided to get rid of my clan for good, stealing fire from a two-leg’s place and torching it to the ground. I lost everything except my life that night,” Morninglight said quietly, her voice slightly shaking, but she continued. “When Loststar found me, I was…delusional, enraged, I nearly killed him that night,” she admitted. “It was only because he was accompanied by a kit, Beestripe, that I even bothered listening to him. He told me everything, how his clan planned it, how he could have stopped it, and how he decided to leave, taking his brother with him. But he didn’t know anything about raising a kit, barely weaned, and begged for my help. I agreed, for the kit’s sake alone. We raised him together and eventually, despite what had happened, we became friends,” she said, her eyes focused on a faraway place and time that would never return. “But Loststar felt too guilty to be around me, or partake in the happiness of having a family. He left, vowing to never see us again, Beestripe was to be my brother, and we’ve been that way ever since. But StarClan put us on the same path and we wound up in two different clans. I joined so Beestripe could grow old her, raise a family, have the life and carefree freedom I didn’t,” she added, her voice growing stronger and stronger. “I must admit when Loststar confronted me today, it brought me back to where I was moons ago, lost and alone...It…it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to lose Beestripe, but more importantly, I didn’t want Beestripe to lose himself,” she finished.
As chaotic as the previous minutes had been, she found it was soothing to let the words spill out, to let another cat know, it was a healing ceremony of sorts for her. Her bitterness towards Loststar, her anger at him for barging into her life unannounced and threatening to turn it upside down, melted with every sentence, every word of her confession.
Her gaze towards Tallstone was full of conviction now, strong, even in the presence of the cat who never failed to make her feel so weak. “I know I’ve already asked so much of you,” she murmured. “I opened up my life to you without asking for your consent. But I have one more favor to ask of you. I would like you to keep this a secret, especially to Beestripe and…don’t tell the others about Loststar either. He’s a good cat, a fine leader, and once, he was a great friend. I would hate to see his clan be torn apart because of this, because of me…” Morninglight very nearly whispered. “I know he wouldn’t have hurt me, but the idea of the TealClan leader walking into our territory and threatening a warrior would be…catastrophic for his reputation.” She flinched at the thought of anyone taking advantage of him as result of something she said, regardless of his actions.
She waited for his response, her emerald eyes radiating hope that she would have his word, that he would not turn and run away from her in the midst of all this chaos and confusion.
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Post by tallstone on Jul 5, 2009 11:24:52 GMT -5
oh, they say you can see your future in a glass of water, the riddles and rhymes.
[/color] the air crackled with tension and uncertain, tallstone had to look away. he had faced her with an open smile, the same sort of easy and loved expression that he used to give northstone, and as he felt his neck prickle uncomfortably, face growing hot, he began to wonder what he was doing.
what am I to her? a voice protruded his thoughts and although he knew it wasn't real, that it was just a ghostly sound of his own conscience, he couldn't help but shiver in acknowledgment. he wanted to know, but at the same time it scared him. his legs trembled; because if she was really more than a friend, a clanmate, to him as he had implied to loststar, then his whole world - and that meant cinderpaw's world too - would go spinning. if there was any cat that understood the delicate balance of a marriage, or relationship, such as northwind and his, it was tallstone.
he could recall clearly when his brother had told him all those moons ago, when he was still tallpaw and she was still northpaw, that his affections wouldn't last and if they did, they would be dangerous -- for she was the cat that attracted the attention without trying to, in that glimmer of a smile and sparkle in her eyes. beautiful cats like that never fell in with cats like him. not easily, they didn't.
even more so, tallstone remembered the moment when his former mentor had confronted him one day with a pained expression. tallstone hadn't thought anything of it though - except that he had perhaps swallowed some bad mouse - until firestone had frowned at him, mouth creasing and the rest of his body seemed to fall. firestone had always loved tallstone like the brother he never had and to see northwind do something so frivolous, so illiegal to a cat like the soft-hearted, passionate warrior almost broke him.
tallstone, at the time, had cocked his head to the side and smiled openly at his former mentor, eyes bright like every new warrior. "she's cheating on you," firestone wanted to say, but his throat was dry so he said instead, northwind's waiting for you near the same oak tree you confessed. it... seems important. much to the fire-flecked toms dismay, tallstone continued to see northwind even after he knew. he was in too deep; any cat sane could see that, surely not? he would make her fall in love with him again, he had been so sure of at that time.
the current tallstone, however, wasn't so sure that northwind ever fell in love with him in the first place. he could see, now, the way her eyes shone when she chatted with castro, the way her eyes softened when the muscular tom reached to touch her, and the way she couldn't stop smiling. had northwind ever really smiled for him? no, never.
as for morninglight, he couldn't be sure where they stood and he didn't - even for the sake of his life, for his happiness - want to give up whatever he had with northwind. tallstone was not a player - he was not under any illusion that he could be in love with both of them and that they would be okay with it, or that he would want to become that sort of cat - but more so, he had a soft heart and a kind soul. he wanted happiness for all his friends, even the little friends he had.
tallstone, at present, was in a daze as he listened to morninglight, but he wasn't sure if it was that he was transfixed by her beauty - any cat could see that she was pretty in that delicate, simple sort of way - that made it unable to focus on what she was saying. he heard it all, it just didn't register and the emotions that played across his face were more far off. at the same time he wanted to comfort her, offer a warm smile, he was also thinking of northwind and how much she would disapprove of this friendship, if you could even call it that. however he looked at it though, being with morninglight seemed easy above everything else and he couldn't imagine not being with her, as he couldn't imagine not being able to see northwind, whether she'd grace him with a force smile or furious glare. that was, he supposed, what love was about.
he - who had been looking at his paws as she poured out every pore of her being, of her past and history so much that he flushed a tomato-red - looked at her again, the edges of his eyes softening. did he love her? no. yet, she was as bit beautiful as his mate and she transfixed him too, whether it was her kind, accepting nature or flushed face, he needed her just as much as northwind or cinderpaw.
even if all his attention hadn't been on her, like it always was when northwind spoke (but he couldn't help that, it was a reflex always as happened when one was in such a painful love), it seemed like it did. he murmured at the right points, his face softening and eyes hardening, his tail brushed lightly against her flank in a comforting way and above all, understanding shone in lights behind his teal-blue pools, like lanterns underneath a lake. this, despite how irrational and crazy it seemed to his simple history, didn't surprise him one bit. well, no, that was a lie. it did. in fact, at many points, he felt his heart leap into his throat, eyes widening, and paws shaking, but through it all he had managed to smile. perhaps it was because he felt he knew morninglight and had always suspected such complicated things to happen to cats he coerced with. all of this did not change his perspective of her -- she was still sweet, she was still adored, she was still his friend.
he looked at her, eyes burning, and did not say anything throughout the ordeal, offering his ears because he knew that in times like this it would hurt more to speak then to listen. so often he wanted this of northwind, where she would listen and not sigh in aggravation for him to be done with, where she would murmur softly and briefly but not have her eyes flicker towards an exit so she could escape. northwind was always worried for cinderpaw, as was tallstone, but being a mother was very different than a father and although he understood that, a childish part of the brute couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy for his son who always had northwind's full attention.
tallstone did not focus on these thoughts however, and simply graced his friend with a quiet sort of smile, the edges of his lips upturning briefly. he stood slowly, carefully, and although his neck still prickled, the hot heat spreading throughout, he didn't stop until he was close enough. even if he was at an intimate distance, the tom did not think desirable thoughts, lust did not enter his eyes once, and he looked at her carefully - almost pitiful, but more caring - as one would look at any old friend. as if the weeks they had really known each other were moons or years.
(he couldn't help but wonder, however, at her last set of words. if it were between loststar and himself, which one would she choose? would she care for him, tallstone, if he got injured by an enraged loststar, even if the tealclan's leader reputation would shatter? who would she defend? however, tallstone soon shook his head to himself. he shouldn't be thinking those thoughts. it wasn't his place. he was and would always be northwind's.)
he was quiet as he looked at her and although he was slow, the sudden flush that greeted him was not, as he inched forward and pressed his muzzle to her forehead so her delicate face was cradled in his embrace. it felt almost natural. (besides, friends hug, don't they?) "shh. don't apologize. i get it, don't worry. ," he hushed her, his voice quiet as always. he pulled away and smiled at her. "of course i will. besides, what kind of cat do you take me for?"
he then did something he never thought he would. he winked at her. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/font][/color]
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Post by morninglight on Jul 6, 2009 22:57:13 GMT -5
Morninglight
She's been staring down the demons, Who've been screaming she's just another so and so, Another so and so Never before had she told another cat her complete history, but then again, she had never known another cat who could be so compassionate, so sympathetic, so trustworthy, that she would even feel remotely safe confiding to. It seemed that it was a morning of firsts and as he listened to her, eyes burning, she never faltered, never tore her emerald gaze away from his face, as the words cascaded out of her mouth as easily as water, as swift and as strong. His returning liquid blue stare was both alarming and exhilarating, and she could hardly tear her eyes away. And when she finished, he didn’t run, didn’t turn away from her, didn’t mutter a weak excuse and bolt away. He stayed his ground, his gaze did not stray and the most surprising of all, he smiled. Relief flooded through Morninglight’s body, still quivering slightly from the previous ordeal, as she smiled back, a glowing smile illuminating her delicate features.
But even she couldn’t mask the shock on her face when he stepped close, one step, and then another until his muzzle was pressed against her forehead and she took an audible sharp breath as she felt the warmth of his fur, the crackling energy between them, and she was rooted through the spot, her golden-furred paws petrified. Tallstone’s voice was soft and soothing, but she found it hard to listen, the specifics of the words washing over her as she contemplated the closeness of his touch. She never knew she had so many nerves in her forehead, but every one seemed to be electrified. She closed her eyes, basking in the quick seconds, until he pulled back and she opened them again, emeralds flecked with dazzling gold, shining in the light.
Morninglight would have thought she was dreaming, had it not felt so real. Glancing up at him, it suddenly dawned on her how similar they were, how natural it felt to be with him, like seeing the clouds accompanying the rain. Perhaps in a previous time, in another world, they would have been together just like that. But something unexpected happened, an upheaval, like a hurricane that throws the normal order of the world into chaos and leaves you breathless, in sheer awe. Like Northwind.
She snapped back out of her thoughts, just in time to hear his last statement, her ears perked at the sound of his voice. She allowed an easy smile to grace her features at his words and mewed in response, “I didn’t know at first, but I’m starting to find out”. She never expected, in a thousand moons to be sitting here with him, like old friends, confiding, joking, and if she wasn’t mistaking, he winked right back at her. Her eyes widened slightly but she kept her face composed, her smile amused, and her eyes shimmering with laughter. Then her smile froze in place as a thought ripped through her mind like thunder.
He was not going to leave Northwind. She had forgotten that minor detail and she mentally kicked herself. Why on earth had she ever felt a flicker of hope? Northwind was beautiful, stunning really, a great mother, everyone in the clan loved her, a perfect catch. And Tallstone was head over heels in love with her, even Morninglight could tell that. What tom wouldn't be? His smile, the way he looked at Morninglight simply transfixed,it must have been all in her head, wistful thinking ok for a love-stricken apprentice, but simply embarassing for a seasoned warrior like herself. Her smile hovered awkwardly on her face as her eyes lost their carefree glow and she averted them quickly to the ground. She never expected she could feel heart-broken and relieved at the same time, relieved that this thought struck her down before she climbed too high.
"We should get back," she murmured, her voice soft but cool at the same time, emotion stripped from her words, grateful and saddened by her sudden transition.
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Post by tallstone on Jul 14, 2009 0:43:03 GMT -5
how could we know? that song, this show, we'd learn so much about ourselves.
[/color] THERE was a time for love and there was a time for friendship and then, there was a time for this -- whether neither friendship or love was possible and, if he were to be entirely truthful to himself, really wanted. Tallstone felt Morninglight's touch in all too real sparks - sparks that were less flaring but just as brilliant as he used to feel around her - and at the same way he wanted to shy away from this sudden feeling, he wanted to embrace it as well. The darkness that seemed to encompass him wherever he went, shadowed each step with inky blackness, vaporized at her touch, lightened by the brilliance that was simply Morninglight.
If asked, he could recall every single moment he spent with Northwind with painful clarity as if it were yesterday. He would be able to describe each of his own feelings and her reactions to them with perfect ease, eyes swimming with bittersweet affection that seemed impossible to get rid of. It was like he had been swimming in a pool for years and now that the rational part wanted to get out, the emotional part insisted that he was in much too deep -- and, as for that latter statement, any other cat would agree.
However, as Tallstone turned to the cat he believed was his best friend, he would be able to recall everything about her - even in the short moons they had really known each other - with a sort of ease that a cat like him was certainly not used to. Unlike with Northwind - whom, before the dark feelings that used to fuel his love had begun to consume him, used to make his brain fizzle, his heart to shake and his cheeks to flush - this warrior felt at complete ease with Morninglight, a wonderful feeling that he should feel more of. She made him feel different but it was exactly this kind of difference that exhilerated him -- caused his blood to rush, his eyes to sparkle and his self to return to the brilliance he used to be as an apprentice.
She reminded him of the cat that he used to be before he became mates with Northwind, but even further than that -- Morninglight revived the cat in him that used to have playful scuffled with his brother, Dustpaw. She created a reminder of the cat who - when pushed to the ground by Firesnow during a training session - had a special glint in his eyes when he staggered to his paws and charged with a laugh at his mentor. She created a new sort of cat in him that everyone else had thought died moons ago.
When Tallstone looked back at the sun-splashed cat that he was quite sure that he had not fallen in love with or would ever fall in love with - and besides why was he thinking these thoughts that were clearly past boundaries of normal friendships ? even ones that entailed the words "best friends" ? - his eyes were bright and his smile was playful, despite noticing her change in demeanor. Nothing could get past him.
Normally in a situation like this, where the cat across from him acted like she was doing and the atmosphere, like crackling air, changed around them, Tallstone would recoil back into the very same cat that Northwind was most comfortable with and as a result, took the greatest advantage of -- a cat who was quiet and accepting of all rights and wrongs, but couldn't do anything to change what ever he was displeasure with, despite knowing better.
However as he strode ahead of her in easy steps, bumping her shoulder playfully as if to challenge her in a race back to camp, his heart didn't darken and his face continued to lighten further, a pleasant flush spreading across his features that was more of exhilaration than the embarrassment that he should be feeling.
After a moment of walking, he calmed down and his eyes grew soft again, glinting gently with a pale curiosity that a warm cat like him could only emit. He hadn't completely forgot about the events that he had just seen - or the words that she had spilled out to him in utter confidence - and although he had waited a while, making it seem as if he did not want to speak of them as she didn't, he couldn't help the curiosity that was biting at him, nor - quite frankly - explain it.
He had seen the way that Loststar had looked at him and at Morninglight, and Tallstone knew he would be lying to say that it didn't bother him -- it did, but as for the reason why it annoyed him so, it was lost on him. Instead, he cleared his throat and glanced at her with a careful smile, almost bashful laugh, as a nervous laugh erupted from him. " morning--" he had begun, but his voice died on him as he turned his head to look at her, his voice caught in his throat. The light shined on her, glimmering softly on her sun-touched coat and he swallowed again, fighting back the thought that suddenly came to his mind -- no, he didn't know why Loststar had looked at her that way. Of course he didn't know, but just because he didn't know didn't mean that he particularly liked it.
"so." he began awkwardly again, stumbling over his steps and causing him to accidentally bump into her lightly. His eyes flashed, hoping she wouldn't get mad or suspect something, but they also gleamed as the same shock ran through his veins, igniting something that he never knew existed. he looked at her and then away, hoping she didn't notice how his tail flicked instinctively against hers (and that they were close enough to do just that) -- but more importantly, how a soft redness flared in his cheeks, a childish thought really, but he hoped she wouldn't think badly of him for it. feeling this way when he had a mate, probing into her past like this. "what's... what's between you and loststar?" he mewed.
and he didn't just mean "we traveled" or "he's beestripe's brother". his eyes flashed and he focused his eyes on the passing trees, staring harder as his cheeks flushed again. even she knew that.
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Post by morninglight on Jul 14, 2009 2:45:50 GMT -5
Morninglight Get a load of me get load of you Walking down the street and I hardly know you It's just like we were meant to be Now she wasn’t quite sure what to think. Morninglight was not one to read into actions, analyze every tone change, facial movement, connotation of words in order to divulge into hidden meanings. But then again she was not clueless enough to ignore these sudden actions of the silver-pelted tom beside her. Every movement of his…his tail brushed against her burnished pelt, his shoulder against hers, she couldn’t help but intake a sharp breath every time she felt this contact, intentional or not. Had she been a different cat, or even a younger cat perhaps, she might have encouraged it. At the touch of his side, she might have leaned into his touch, flashed a smile when his tail brushed against her, initiated her own gesture. But she wasn’t careless enough, young enough, or foolish enough to do such a thing now. And while she couldn’t deny her feelings, however irrational, impulsive and frankly, stupid they might be, she certainly could do her best not to let on.
She chanced a glance over to his face, his flushed cheeks, his eyes brilliant and luminescent in the afternoon light and she knew, much as she hated to admit it, she liked him. Maybe it wasn’t love, she didn’t know him well enough for that, but his patience with Cinderpaw, his loyalty to his clan, and she had to admit, his love and compassion for Northwind, she rationalized any she-cat would love to be in Northwind’s position. It was a shameful thought, and with her cheeks burning with heat, it was hard to suppress such thoughts when here was a cat who was, in her emerald eyes, perfect.
And he made her act perfectly foolish. It was the carefree romantic in Morninglight that even entertained such notions of impossible love. And it was the more rational side of her determined to squash that idea for good. Pursuing Tallstone, however breathtakingly handsome and compassionate he was, would end up with her looking like a home wrecker, a cat devoid of morals. At best, she would look merely foolish, and Tallstone and Northwind could have a good laugh that Morninglight ever thought that she stood a chance. She shuddered as that idea mulled about in her head, and she quickened her pace to match his strides, their silence punctuated by brief but electrifying contact.
No, she must do her best to overcome this rather addicting attention from those riveting cobalt-blue pools. It had been so long, since Loststar really that she had had a tom pay so much attention to her, to listen and engage in a conversation, to look at her like she was the only thing that mattered and everything else was a bothersome distraction. This attention was foreign and strange to her, taking her off-guard, leaving her begging for more, luring her into a dangerous situation. He made her feel important, need, wanted, loved, brought her back to a time and a place she had not the courage to think about until now. Morningpaw and Whitepaw had giggled foolishly about the future, finding true love, all the problems that plague the hearts of young she-cats. Those thoughts had been extinguished in the blaze that had destroyed her family. Her life had changed drastically, for Beestripe, that the desire to find that special someone had been shoved into the corner as a fanciful and impractical wish. With Tallstone at her side, she could allow herself the luxury of thinking that one day she might have a mate, kits of her own, to return from a long day and curl up against her mate and sleep in sheer bliss. Just, and she had to keep reminding herself, was a dream she could not include Tallstone in.
She averted her eyes from his face, unable to hide the glow that radiated every time she felt his slightest touch, determined to keep his voice cool, her expression calm, her face straight ahead, at least until she could retreat into the safety of camp, hole herself up in the den, and pretend none of this had ever happened. Her resolve was quickly broken at the sound of his voice and she flashed her eyes back upwards, nearly faltering herself at the expression on his face, and again, the electrifying touch of his pelt as he stumbled, surely accidentally? into her once more.
His words however, smashed any remaining bit of dignity she had left, and she gaped openly at him, her emerald eyes quizzical and questioning at his sudden inquiry. Why on earth?..., she couldn't even formulate a reason why he would want to know something like that. Yes you can, a voice inside whispered, and she quickly squished that rebellious thought. It was a perfectly reasonable demand, he had noticed the exchange between them and had become curious. That was all.
"Well..." she paused, slowly her steps as her mind hummed and whirled as she collected her thoughts. "I suppose the question should be what was between Loststar and I...and honestly I can say nothing. Though not...for lack of trying," she said with a soft laugh, her mouth turned slightly upwards in what resembled a smile, as if it were a humorous situation. "We bonded over raising Beestripe and I suppose, over our entire ordeal. I'm not sure when my feelings changed..." she mused thoughtfully, it was difficult to recall that time so many moons ago. "I hated him at first," she admitted sheepishly, embarassed that she could be capable of such rage. "But over time, and after seeing him with Beestripe, things were different...I guess you could call it an infaturation of sorts. Nothing was talked about, and when he left, well...that was that. I doubt he felt the same way," she said with a shrug, as if it didn't matter, like she didn't expect anything different. "Just your classic case of unrequited love," she added, unable to look him in the eye anymore, least he suspect she was suffering from yet another recurrence.
But Loststar was far from her mind as she walked next to Tallstone, her heart fluttering as she heard every pawstep he took, every breath he inhaled. "Not that you would understand something like that," she said with a cheery brisk laugh, as if it were the craziest idea in the world.
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Post by tallstone on Jul 14, 2009 9:55:06 GMT -5
how could we know? that song, this show, we'd learn so much about ourselves.
[/color] WHAT should you expect when you asked a question like that ? Tallstone didn't know and as he glanced sideways at her, his face reddening softly, he wasn't quite sure he wanted to find out either. Her gaping expression almost made him laugh, if not for the reminder of the twisting sensation in his stomach when he realized that he may have protruded too far into her personal life, friend or not -- best friend or not. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure what they were even so what gave him the right to ask such a personal question?
He sighed quietly, a bare breath of soft air swirling in a stream of invisible air, and scuffed the ground in complete silence, refusing to look at her. The soft redness was lost on his face as he contemplated his motives for the question, instantly berating himself and hating how he always seemed to prod into other people's lives without really meaning to. He had done it with Northwind, gone trailing after her and her beauty because - as if by some tie of fate - he was utterly enthralled by, not only her presence, who she was and why everyone else was so taken by her -- where had that ended him ? Not with a perfect life, certainly, it gave him a mate that caused him such endless pain that he had almost broken up with her -- which, he was positive, would probably break him.
Tallstone glanced sideways at her, a soft smile touching the edge of his silver lips and all of a sudden, like a gust of wind, all premonitions he might have had about how much she might hate him - pull away and hiss - or how bad and illegal he was being was erased from his memory. It didn't matter, now, that he was being wrong; the he was obviously crossing the boundaries of a normal friendship and ruining whatever it was they had. She was pretty and sweet and made him feel so gloriously brilliant that he suddenly wished he could be like this forever -- almost, though. A flash of a marbled she-cat that made his heart rush and his eyes freeze entered his mind, before he shook his head to glance at her.
His face flushed immediatley when he turned to see her staring at him, soft eyes quizzical. The tom stared at his paws, hoping she wouldn't see through him to his true intentions -- what were his true intentions anyway ? He bit his lip; he didn't know.
Her voice broke his thoughts and his eyes snapped open to train hers, holding back the shaky sigh of relief that was caught in his throat. Tallstone lost himself in her warm green gaze, the sudden sparkle in her eye making him catch his breath, and her sweet voice, finding it hard to concentrate on anything else with her standing next to him in such close proximity. Instead, he turned his head fully to meet hers and graced her with an encouraging smile, molten blue pools gleaming softly in the growing light; the sun was stretching across the sky, casting a soft orange glow across the two cats. The light danced across his fur, revealing rippling muscles beneath broad shoulders, and as her fur caught in the light, his eyes flashed again, an unseen emotion igniting in his veins and heart.
He swallowed thickly when she admitted having feelings for the TealClan leader, his eyes instinctive trying to search her eyes for the truth and finding nothing, he turned his head to face the road ahead of him with an inaudible sigh. When she had confessed, something inside him twisted and he was positive his heart clenched in the same way it did when he saw Northwind's eyes glimmer when she mentioned Castro, or when she saw the Castro in him that she wished he was. It was honestly no surprise to Tallstone that Northwind did not want him, but rather the angry, cold figure who hated her with each and every fiber of her being, a striking reminder of the only cat who had not ever accepted her.
He looked at Morninglight at that moment, his throat dry and he was unable to find his voice to tell her what he was feeling now, to see if she would make sense of this strange feeling entering his heart, something like a flash of warmth and a spark of fire but much too gentle, too soft a feeling, to be compared to the likeness, the love, the affection he felt for his mate.
The words unrequited love struck him hard and he immediatley snapped his head around to meet hers, his eyes widening in disbelief. Surely she didn't mean that? Not only did he swear that she had sweet enough a heart, perfect enough a presence, to bring any toms flocking to her if she so wished, but it was positive that Loststar - at that moment - had glared at Tallstone with a glimmer of jealousy and then at Morninglight with a gleam of regret -- only a cat who was in love would give such a look, the tabby warrior was sure. "I don't think it was unrequited love, Morninglight. He --" he had tried to interrupt, finding it hard to speak but not understanding why. Her next words made his blood grow cold, as if she was resurfacing the very same memory he had been trying to bury deep.
He stopped walking immediatley, the color draining from his face and his molten blue gaze paling softly, the emotion in his eyes all lost to all those who wished to look. As the coldness seemed through his viens, his muscles locking in place, he stared at the ground and feeling everything break away from him until he could only see the very same blackness that clung to him like dark poison, returning. Her brilliance, her light that had vaporized the darkness, was lost on him now as he lost himself in lost memories that made him face contort in anguish.
"northwind had never loved me," he heard himself blurt out, raising his gaze - his lifeless gaze suddenly flaring to burning cobalt, willing her to understand all the pain Northwind put him through, a pain that not even Morninglight and her brilliance could erase.
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Post by morninglight on Jul 14, 2009 16:31:57 GMT -5
Morninglight Well I never saw it coming, I shoulda started running A long long time ago and I'd never thought I doubt you, I'm better off without you She searched his face, but found nothing, hardly an indication if that was the answer he wanted to hear. If anything, he seemed rather upset, for reasons she could not fathom, or at least, had the courage to explore. Why was he with her anyway? He should be back at camp, or at least, having protected her from Loststar, seen her briskly back instead of asking these questions as if any of it mattered anymore. For someone so in love, living such a perfect life that only StarClan could have dreamed up, he had to know the ordeal he was putting her through. Morninglight had never thought of him as a cruel cat, but surely he knew that every touch, every smile, brought a little color to her face and hope to her heart that was unmerited.
“I don’t think it was unrequited love, Morninglight. He—“
He began but abruptly stopped talking, or even walking for that matter. She stopped too on instinct and continued, “Well not like it matters any more. Those feelings passed a long time ago…” she trailed off, her voice dying as her emerald eyes caught the look on his face, distorted, pained. She immediately froze, trying to conjure up what she could have possibly said that could have provoked such a reaction and found nothing.
His confession however, sent her mind into complete and utter chaos. Shock ran rampart across her delicate features, flashed in her eyes, and for a few moments she had no murmured words of sympathy or understanding. And she could see how much it cost him to say such a thing, while it was certainly accepted reluctantly in his mind, saying it out loud placed an undeniable truth to it. To live with such a cat, loved by the entire clan, desired by every tom, and to have her not return the simple affections that Morninglight knew Tallstone deserved, Morninglight could not imagine the agony that must consume him. She wanted to comfort her, reach out like any friend should, sooth his fears, dull the pain, or at least reassure him that she would be there...
Then something clicked into place. The shock on her face tranformed, gave birth to sheer anguish and distress when she finally realized, and berated herself for not thinking sooner...
He was using her. Her normally glowing eyes were overcast with a dark green tint of bitterness and the gentle slope of her mouth twisted in a silent anger and hurt. Hot tears blurred her vision and she swallowed, her mouth dry. For what purposes? To make Northwind jealous? To momentarily forget his pain until Northwind came skipping back and Tallstone trailed after her lovesick once more? One thing that this golden warrior was certain of, it was not about her, had never been about her. Any she-cat would have done, she just happened to be the lucky one with the grand prize of a broken heart. It would have made no difference to him. She wanted to scream, lash out claws extended, spit his words back in his face, turn her back, but she did none of these. It was her fault, it always was.
Instead she took a deep breath, her eyes lifeless and distant, losing all their former sparkle and shine, even her pelt seem to lose that confident glow that was illuminated with every smile Tallstone shot her way. "Oh," she said quietly, as if Tallstone had just told her the prey was running low or they would be going on patrol, rather than the anguished confession of his soul. "Well that's her loss I suppose. You are a good catch and any she-cat would be lucky to be in her place," she murmured, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible, least he suspect he was better than just a good catch, at least in her eyes. Even though they were standing still, her eyes were trained at the pine trees behind him, not on his face, because if she could not see the unchecked pain in his strong features, it would be much easier to not give in, to not shoulder his pain along with her own. She could not continue acting like such a fool.
What else could she say? While he might interpret her actions as uncaring, unfeeling, or at the very least, that she didn't understand what he was going through. In fact, she understand too well. As much as she wanted to throw herself at him, confess everything, pour out all the contents of her locked-up soul, she couldn't continue to be a party to this, if she ever wanted to salvage the pieces of her broken heart.
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