Bearpaw

[bearpaw]

The rising sun shone down in jagged streams of light into the apprentice den, falling upon the huddled form of a thick-furred apprentice. His breath came out in ragged gasps and his normally sleek gray pelt was matted and dirty after tearing through the forest in desperation. They never found her.

Not for lack of trying though. Phantomsun had most of the clan searching all night, including Bearpaw himself. It was all in vain. Every moment that past had drawn Bearpaw closer to the terrifying truth. Dreampaw had left RavineClan willingly.

He lifted his head to the light, his green eyes like chips of ice, even in the glory of the waking sun. His position was akward, his shoulders hunched, ears drawn back, giving the appearance of a broken doll, the soul sucked right out of him, leaving behind a lifeless corpse. His emotions had already flickered through fury, sadness, helplessness, finally settling into a comfortably numbness. Time moved in limbo, hours sped by and the minutes dragged their feet as Bearpaw lost himself in nightmares.

How could she? Even with his father’s death and his mother abandoning him, Bearpaw had always found comfort in the presence of Dreampaw. To say that he loved her, well, love was just a word, a label that diminished his feelings for her, how much he needed her just like air or water. Their relationship had always been as natural as the rain falling and Bearpaw had rejoiced in it, blissfully ignorant.

Dreampaw’s departure hurt him more than a father he had never known, a mother who had never cared, a sister who never saw past his imperfections. It was her he had opened his heart to, raw with expectations, hopes, and dreams. She saw him, past his one good eye, his methodical ways and had made him whole. She hadn’t even told him she was leaving. A fool he had been, to reveal himself unguarded, to expose his naked heart, to a she-cat who didn’t think he was worth an explaination, or even a good bye. A mistake.

But now he was exposed, open, and weak. He couldn't go back to the way things were, the patient mentor, the emotionless ally. You can't put a butterfly back into a cocoon. How could he walk back into camp, pretend that everything was ok, that he would be ok?

He had never had a quarrel with StarClan before. Even with his mother or his father. But this was too much and Bearpaw could feel the fury bitter on his tongue and the fire in his limbs, as he wanted to scream to the sky. But his mouth was dry with sorrow and his cries fell to the ground in silence. StarClan had once again turned their back on the gray-furred apprentice.

He was numb to his shaking body as he watched every tortured minute pass by, waiting for anyone or anything to relieve the pain.

[starclan]

accepted
as apprentice of ravineclan.
mentor is still brownspot.