for all these years...they haven't left

[lilyflame]

LILYFLAME

She was an odd one, that lilykit. never sociable, never blending in. it wasn't just her dark ginger fur that separated her from her brothers and sisters in the den, but the way that she acted. she was intelligent, for one thing. always knowing when to behave and when to be polite. she was never in trouble, unlike her brothers, snakekit and dewkit. but for some reason, something was just not right with her. her mother realized this first, although her father was oblivious to lilykit's strange behavior. at first they just dismissed it. there couldn't be anything wrong with their perfect little lilykit, is what they thought. of course, nothing is what it seems in the hard times during the journey. lilykit had great mood swings that varied from day to day. some days she would be quiet and secluded, and then hours later she would be venturing off into the forest by herself without even saying anything to any cats.

It was a problem in her intelligent brain that made her a strange young kit. one that needed constant attention and love. without it, she would become moody and even more unsociable than she normally was.as she grew older, though, she became very clingy with her brother, dewkit as they became apprentices. lilypaw had seizures every now and then, but she couldn't help it. there was something definitely wrong with her brain. but today, as she awoke on her first day of being a warrior, after her vigil and taking a nap, lilyflame felt strange. there was something wrong with this day, and she knew that she woud rue it in the end. she had had this feeling before in her life, and it always came before one of her episodes. she just hoped that today was not going to be one of those days where she would be confined to her den again while the medicine cat fussed over her. lilyflame's brother dewgaze was somewhere in the den, and as for snakepaw, he had died in the journey. but as she sat there, her long ginger tail twitching and her sharp amber gaze staring into the rising sun, she felt it coming on. one of her episodes were coming, and it was going to be a big one. sitting there, without a care in the world had turned into a nightmare. she had found the symptoms of when she would have one of her seizures, and knew that one was coming now. it was like a numbing feeling had started in her head. she prepared herself for it, but what else could she do but wait?

She convulsed - her whole body thrashing as she lost control of it, and she tried to lay down and stop the movement. she had lost movement of her limbs, and if she was in water, she would have surely drown. but sitting here, looking out at the sun, she was almost safe. the only thing that she knew could hurt her was herself. she had tried to stop the convulsions, but of course, it had always been with her and would never leave her. she remembered her mother's reaction to the seizures, how she would stay stock still out of fear for her small, abnormal kit. most of the cats were quiet around her after her seizures, and this one wouldn't be any different. the only one that would not have any problem with her was dewgaze, her loving brother. he had always loved her for her, and wouldn't abandon her if she needed him. of course, as she had her seizure now, dewgaze was nowhere to be found.

Finally, the shaking stopped, and she found that she couldn't move for a few moments. she couldn't feel the rays of sun coming down on to her ginger pelt, and she couldn't hear what the commotion was throughout the clearing. she was an epileptic cat, and the others just had to accept lilyflame for who she was. she knew they would be rushing over to her any second, and that dewgaze would rest his head on her flank and repeat how everything was going to be alright. but of course, the seizures always returned. they were rare, but they were small lilyflame's worst nightmare. as she lay there on the dusty floor, she felt her movement come back to her, and she tried to stand up. well, that was a pleasant way to start the day... she thought sarcastically. she dragged herself into her den as she heard the other cats scrambling from their positions over to her. flopping down on to her bedding, she closed her eyes and sighed. it always took a lot out of her, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. the seizures were just a part of her life.

[lilyflame]

finished...poor lilyflame...

[crowflight]

an epileptic kit wouldn't survive in the wild, let alone a warrior. they would have just put lilykit out of her misery early on.

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